i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
