Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
