it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
