I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Farmville is her only friend.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Randomize
