He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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