i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i think i scared a bird with my dick
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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