I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
