Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
