I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Brb crying the tears of my youth
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
