even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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