If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
It was confusing and full of hummus
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
