GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
