Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
