1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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