I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
