i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize