Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
