thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
