So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
