Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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