We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize