her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
