I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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