youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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