if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
