I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
