he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
