We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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