Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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