it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize