NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
