I hate all girls vehemently.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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