im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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