Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
