How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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