I feel like abortions should bother me more
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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