I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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