what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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