Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
