The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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