I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
