The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
