Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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