you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize
