break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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