Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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