If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
