Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
