went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize