Duck Duck Cougar?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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