Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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