he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
