Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
