Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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