fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I won't apologize to a one balled man
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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