Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
The ass gains better be worth it
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
