dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
