my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
There are leaves in my underwear?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
