where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
