4 words: hood of his car
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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