also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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