i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
