My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize