I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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