Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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