Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
