My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
