That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Randomize
